I had no experience with death and dying. My grandparents and other relatives and friends died in my life but I was too young and not skilled enough to help at the time of their death.
The content of this article was purchased by the Tibetan Book for Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche. This is a modern classic and introduces the Tibetan Buddhist tradition in a way that can be applied in our modern world and westernized. The chapter titled Heart Tips on how to help the dying that is 50 times the cost of the book. To get your copy click on the link above.
A person who dies at the time of death is in a situation that he or she is leaving behind everything that has been attached to family and all his life. Wealth, fame, prestige, family, friends, all power was left behind. Rinpoche asks us to put in place the person is dying, at death. He asks us to imagine ourselves on an ocean liner or a trip into the unknown. You have no choice in the matter, the ship is already way out and our friends and family are on the bank to be able goodbye. What we want from our friends who came to greet us in that situation? Remember you can never go back and you have no choice - it must be assumed. With a little use of imagination will be in a better position to help the person at death and dying.
Sogyal Rinpoche gives a lot of important advice. I tried to summarize some important points in this article. For more details please read his book.
1. At the time of death and dying to give the person room to express his feelings. Allow her to express any and all of his feelings. The dying person feels fear, panic, pain, anger, in varying proportions. Used to convey these feelings to sympathize with them we can offer immeasurable.
2. Give permission suffering person to die. Rinpoche speaks of people he had met or heard that you were approaching death and dying. But they were burdened by their responsibility for the fact that his family depended on them. Sogyal Rinpoche says that many people die refused to let go and has undergone several weeks of suffering and agony. Giving a person permission to die and his family would have made his transition much easier.
3. Establish trust and open communication, be yourself. Your task is to act naturally and let the person open up. Skillfully uses humor in these situations. This will create better communication.
Four. Do not interrupt, deny or belittle the feelings of the person. At death the dying person needs to feel and express his feelings. This is how it can be free of them and meet his end peacefully.
5. Not invade your spiritual beliefs. Do not try to convert or impose your spiritual beliefs for the dying at the time of death. Will not help. On the other hand, if the dying person expresses the desire to know your beliefs, do not hold.
6. At death the dying person make you the target of his grief and anger. This is not unexpected. The dying person is in the deepest crisis of his life. Do not take it personally if it takes out her feelings about you.
7. Do not expect too much from yourself. This is only so much you can do. Ultimately people will die as they lived. Do not expect miracles.
8. Technique to help you empathize. Rinpoche says that people who die long to be touched, to be treated as long-living people and not as sick. A large amount of consolation can be given to very sick simply by touching their hands, looking into his eyes, gently massaging, holding in his arms or breathe at the same pace with them gently.
Rinpoche describes two techniques to express feelings and unconditional love to his death at the time of death. Very often, due to past problems and sufferings, we may have feelings of guilt and anger toward the dying, at death. Rinpoche says that if you try to put yourself in place of the dying person will have a better idea of what the person needs and feels. Will then be able to accept unconditionally the dying.
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