How to survive the death of a loved one

From reading and work I did with Hospice after experiencing the death of my sister (Cindy James), I learned that people can cry more losses in the same way that mourn death.

Early in the process of mourning, the existence of the lost object or person is extended in the mind of mourning until the leak can be gradually accepted.

There is shock, numbness, disbelief, denial and, finally, that the acceptance of a death or loss occurs.

When the numbness fades, intense emotional pain and emptiness you feel and gut-wrenching can be scary, but it is natural, common and healthy, and gradually decreases, although usually reappears as an anniversary reaction.

While in this stage of the process of mourning looking for your beloved, her scream, cry, and eventually realize it is still with you in your heart and your memories of her.
You become obsessed or consumed with thoughts and memories and feel irritable and "not yourself" sometimes can work.

Having trouble with your appetite, sleep, your energy level, and you feel restless, often losing interest in activities once found enjoyable.

You also have difficulties in concentration, his mind fantasizing, or you experience confusion and forgetfulness, and struggle with feelings of guilt, and may also want to be dead.

You can become depressed and, in fact, can expose many of the same symptoms that patients suffering from primary affective disorders (depressive symptoms). And if you have inadequate social support or fear or resistance to mourning, you can enter the kingdom of complicated or unresolved grief with its various psychiatric syndromes and psychosomatic syndromes, such as anxiety attacks.

Adjusting to life without Cindy took time. I found new ways to focus my energy-by journaling (and possibly compile my book, Who killed my sister, my friend), walking in nature and more, and later to be joined as a volunteer hospice When I was ready . And I restored my social network, possibly fostering friendships with casual acquaintances who helped me in my despair and understand what it means to experience loss. Through it all I found there was no timetable for my grief. With gentle urging, subtle guidance, and unfailing support of a consultant, I acknowledged my heartache talking about what happened (sometimes several times). I expressed my deepest feelings for my sister, Marlene, to the counselor, and their few friends. And remember Cindy, I cried.

And when I got stuck I answered many questions, like:

"What you wish you could've said Cindy?"

"What do you miss most?"

"Where were you and what were you doing when you heard the news?" "What was that?"

"What kind of person was he?"

"What is the hardest thing for you?"

Eventually the bitter sorrow of loss into a sweet sadness or nostalgia and I was able to love again and reach the other, touching their lives and letting them know they are not just a loss.