Losing a loved one is like having the rug swept out from under. I want to know because I lost four family members in a period of seven years. The tragedy does not go away. You just have to learn to cope with it and keep moving.
The first to go was my only son who was two years old at the time. I left him with his baby sitter and came home to discover that she had drowned in a nearby lake. I wrote the whole story about it in http://www.coping-with-grief.com along with a sample chapter. You never really get over the loss of a loved one. You just have to try very hard to go on with your life.
The loss has been my second family stepfather who, believe it or not, drowned in the lake the same eleven months after the death of my son. His body was never found and my mother never had closure with the ideal all because there was no body to bury. In fact, she looked at the entire incident unfold before you and you feel powerless to save him. I'm sure she has a lot of guilt today.
Two years later, my maternal grandmother suddenly became ill and was rushed to hospital where he died two days later. The cause of his death was cancer, which was a family secret that I was unaware until his death. E 'was heartbreaking for me because I had not seen in five years and was not able to say goodbye. E 'was also difficult for my mother who was still mourning for her husband.
Four years after the tragedy of losing my only sister and my mother's daughter from a car accident took a toll on us all. We were all in shock. It seemed unreasonable for a family to be able to endure so much. My mother had to be put on tranquilizers because it was a difficult time to deal with it. It 'been too much for her to bear. I had to take over the funeral and take care of my sister, three children who were left behind.
There is no way I could do everything I id not in a denial phase of grief. I went through the motions, but I do not believe any of it. I kept my feelings under control, not wanting to upset my mother more. I also went through the state's fault that I wish I were the one who died instead of my sister. I felt guilty for being the one who was still alive. I was not able to deal with my feelings just because I thought more about how to comfort my mother. I had the experience of losing a child so I knew he felt empty, but the pain of losing my sister gave the pain I felt for my son and I could not find the right words to say to encourage her.
How do you tell your mother you're sorry you lost your child is your sister, but you wished it were you instead? It seemed so selfish for me to think that way, but when I'm in mourning, self-pity is one of the emotions that surface and the shock will create irrational thoughts especially when you have gone through so much as I had.
How do I relate my story to you about what happened to me in a period of seven years, looks amazing and really never imagined that I would still sane, but I am. This means that you can get through your pain and your loss. Time is a good healer, but the family is the greatest support you can ever have.
My family and I stayed close throughout the test. We realized that our experience allows us to reach out to others and make a difference in the lives of others who may be still grieving or who have just lost a loved one. You should never lose hope. Continuing to live and be free of your pain, but remember to stay close to your family in the process.
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